So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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