We won't sleep together?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize