Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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