remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This house was built for laser tag.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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