im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
