I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
