please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
