the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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