Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
