Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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