there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
