from now on my penis is your penis
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
