official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
