I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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