Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
