When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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