I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
