sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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