I like my sex mixed with concussions.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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