does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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