this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
