I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
BRING THE BAGELS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think i got beer on your cat.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
