I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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