i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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