the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
