i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
