it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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