the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
