Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
