this boner is exhausting
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
