he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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