Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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