you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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