YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My vagina just recognized that song.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
