It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
