Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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