Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
