i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
