her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
