That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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