Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
