the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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