yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
