apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
