everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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