I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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