put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
please come you make the beer taste better
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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