Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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