I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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