STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
