jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
