I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
