You're so nebulous sometimes
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
