I wish they made helmets for livers.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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