i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
