2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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