Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I haven't been this sober since birth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize