i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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