party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize